The signs couldn’t be ignored.

In addition to being smokers, Stephanie Brown’s parents had been struggling with diabetes and high blood pressure. When her mother suffered a heart attack, the message for Brown and her young daughter Kaija was even clearer.

“I said, ‘We better do something to prevent that from happening to us,’” Brown recalls.

Both Brown and Kaija were experiencing weight challenges, so Brown decided nutrition and diet would be her immediate focus for improving their lifestyle.

Many Michigan parents lack knowledge of how to introduce the topic of healthy weight to their children. Health professionals and families like Brown’s and Kaija’s say a combination of sensitivity and creativity is key to starting the conversation without causing youth to feel self-conscious or ashamed.

“I told her we had to change the way we ate, with the fried food and the salt,” Brown recalls.

She says she began grilling instead of frying meals. She also took the initiative of starting a garden to grow cilantro, basil and natural herbs for seasoning their food, along with planting fresh vegetables.

“It’s been a challenge to change my whole cooking style because both of my parents are from the South,” says Brown.

But Kaija, 12, says she has adjusted well so far, particularly since she enjoys produce.

“I eat more fruits and vegetables than meat now,” says Kaija. “I was excited.”

The pair also recently joined a gym, Brown says.
Experts say the Detroit mom’s willingness to lead by example and team up with Kaija is a crucial step in beginning the discussion of health and weight loss with her child. Others can follow suit.

Through Full & Fabulous, her non-profit organization for women, and the Curvy Girl Project for ages 10-21, Sharon DuMas encourages parents like Stephanie to partner with children in the journey toward wellness. With chapters in Michigan and Ohio, Full & Fabulous emphasizes creating self-esteem for women of clothing size 12 and larger, while stressing reduction of health risks.

“I grew up as a plus-sized girl myself,” says DuMas. “I started teaching what I was learning.”

Like others who work with youth, including overweight boys, DuMas says changing household habits is the only way to reinforce positive lifestyle choices in children. The conversation about good health, she says, is more about showing young people rather than telling them.

“That’s why moms put their girls in my program, because they don’t know how to approach the topic,” she says. “They feel like they’re making the situation worse.”

Curvy Girl Project folds good physical health and exercise requirements into a series of meetings in schools and weekend workshops, pampering and makeup instruction, along with “girl talk” discussion sessions about general topics. Those programs help the group blend weight maintenance as necessary into each young girl’s routine. Girls are instructed to drink at least 8 or more glasses of water daily and they shed an average of five to 15 pounds by the program’s end.

However, without the active support and example of parents, DuMas says no form of conversation is effective.

She recalls the girl whose parents brought her to DuMas, weighing 300 pounds at age 11, but who let her gorge on pizza and soda.

“She was a joy to be around,” says DuMas, but the girl died of health-related issues at 17.

Mary McNish, a registered dietician with Saginaw-based Covenant Healthcare, echoes DuMas’ sentiments that parents set the tone for healthy habits.

“Kids learn from watching their parents. So if parents are not active, their kids are not likely to be active, either,” she says.

Grocery shopping is a key factor, McNish says, emphasizing young people should only consume milk containing one-percent fat, or less, and never drink soda or sports beverages. She also advocates one hour of physical activity daily for children and giving choices of healthy snacks versus arbitrary meal choices.

Tameka Craig says she noticed her daughter Cherrel Thomas gaining weight when Cherrel was about 10.

“I started seeing myself in her and I didn’t want her to have the problems I had when I was a kid,” Craig says.

Also participants in Full & Fabulous, they began an overhaul in the kitchen, similar to Brown’s and Kaija’s, incorporating more vegetables, like broccoli, into their regular meals.

The idea, Craig says, was not to fuss or nag, but to introduce healthy habits as “something fun.” Along with cooking together, Craig says she and Cherrel, along with Cherrel’s 6-year-old sister and 10-year-old cousin, have begun regular trips to a nearby school’s track where they walk and ride bikes.

“I lost six pounds,” Cherrel says.

Her fellow Full & Fabulous program member Kaija has lost about 10. Brown, Kaija’s mother, has also seen health improvements, and even Kaija’s grandparents have experienced positive changes in their diabetes and blood pressure.

Like Cherrel, Kaija has faced teasing and bullying related to her weight. Brown says a part of the conversation about weight loss included telling Kaija to be proud of who she is.

“I love myself!” Kaija says. “I just want people to accept me for who I am.”

Having the conversation about better health with children: Do’s and Don’ts

It’s never too early (or too late) to talk to your kids about important issues that impact their health. Although it’s best to start health conversations as early as possible, having “the conversation” with your child at any point in his or her development is better than saying nothing at all – particularly, if that conversation is about your child’s weight. In broaching the topic, health professionals recommend that you …

DO take charge and lead by example, setting limits for your own diet, keeping physically active, and not smoking. Be a role model for healthier living.

DON’T belittle or insult children because of their weight or body image.

DO stress healthy behavior over pounds on the scale. Better habits will lead to lower numbers.

DON’T become the “food police.” Ask children if they’re hungry, rather than feeding – or depriving them – according to a strict routine, and teach them to monitor their own appetites.

DO consult reputable sources, such as theweigh.com and choosemyplate.gov, for health recommendations to guide your discussion and leadership in the household.

DON’T nag or fuss. Be gentle, but firm, if children have trouble adjusting to new habits.

DO consult your doctor before enforcing strict diets. Often youth grow taller during puberty, which helps to balance their body weight.

  Activity, blood pressure, Convenant Healthcare, Curvy Girl Project, Diabetes, Full & Fabulous, Healthy Cities, Healthy Weight, Nutrition, Plua Size